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August 25, 2005
Question: Currently I’m going out with this really nice girl that is very loyal and honest but i have gotten tired of her and a lot of the stuff she does bothers the heck out of me. But if I break up with her she'll be devastated for life because she is like completely in love with me. So how should i dump her without being mean and still want to be friends with her?
ANSWER: You have asked the age-old question that no one has completely figured out. Every girl is different – they have differing degrees of hurt, of emotional investment, of vulnerability, and of desire. Add in to that, how much strength of personality, how much tenacity under pressure, how much willingness to gamble, how much resilience to pain, and a long list of other things.
The way to do it depends on her. The wizard cannot know enough about her to give you the answer. But you are a good soul to be thinking about how to do it.
Don’t count on remaining friends afterward. It can happen, but not often. Count on this, she will not be devastated for life. There are a lot of other guys out there.
Another visitor to this site has made a recommendation to the wizard that goes to the heart of your problem – and a change will occur to this site within the next 45 days to adopt that recommendation. That change – you cannot yet be told what it is – will help. It will help girls at the dumpaguy site also.
The wizard suggests, but without knowing all these factors that even you cannot really know well enough, that you see her in a private place and give her the news as gently as you are able. Compliment her about all her good qualities. Tell her that she will be a wonderful companion to her next boyfriend. These good comments, if done right, are not contradictory or inconsistent with the bad news. You can be sure the dump is firm and unmistakable, but at the same time it can be gentle and complimentary.
You must do it for her sake. It is unfair to lead her on without telling her. She will be better off later – but she must be able to deal with the unhappy emotions that occur because this is a natural and common problem in life. Good luck.
Wizard
August 14, 2005
Question: Well, my current girlfriend, who always seemed to be trust-worthy and honest, has now given me a feeling of dishonesty. She has been hanging out with guys, ex-boyfriends, and not telling me one word about it. Friends even told me that she said things such as "I miss you so much" and "I can't wait until we see each other again." With this said should I dump her?
ANSWER: You should ask her directly. If you aren’t satisfied with her answer, and it bothers you, then dump her. If she is honest, even if you don’t like her answer, you do the same: If it bothers you, you dump her.
Remember, though, to talk to her with a reasonable effort to solve the problem. You shouldn’t dump her just because you are angry or hurt. You should try to work it out if you like your girlfriend.
Wizard
August 11, 2006
Question: im in love with my x and she is in love with me. we had to break up so she could go to college but now she is back. im not willing to cheat and i havn't seen my girl in three weeks cause she and i have been out of town back and forth. and i don't wanna be with her any more but then again i do. but i have to deal with her sister for a year in one of my classes and i don't wanna buy a dump certificate
ANSWER: You can do a dump quite successfully without a dump certificate – but you should dump a girlfriend only if you want to. The wizard can’t determine that you want to.
Wizard
August 4, 2005
Question: my girlfriend is gonna dump me i'm sure do i dump her or let her dump me in front of all my friends.
ANSWER: Just do it.
Wizard
August 4, 2005
Question: I've been dating a girl for 13 months now, and at one point I loved her to death. As of late, she is getting annoying. For the 2nd half of our relationship, she has been getting very upset when I say I'm going over to my friend's house, or even speak of them sometimes. She is starting to sound like she is my mother by many of the things she has tried to control in my life.
My question: What is the easiest way to go about dumping a girl without hurting her feelings too much? She is EXTREMELY emotional and cries very easily. Please... HELP ME!
ANSWER: Dumping is never easy, especially when you want to be as nice as possible, hurt her as little as possible, but be effective.
We can send her a dump certificate or, if that is too direct, we can send to you a dump certificate to deliver in any way you think best. But you must order it.
More to your question: Write her a letter and follow it up with a telephone call. Be polite but firm, clear in the message, and do not be inconsistent. Don’t confuse her, or lead her to think there is more to the relationship.
Simply, the nicest and most polite way to end a relationship is to end it once in clear, unquestionable language. You might call it tough love – if you think well of her and want the best for her, be sure she knows it’s over so she can get on with finding another guy.
Wizard
August 3, 2005
Question: im 12 and i want to know if i should dump my girlfriend who has a drinking problem. i myself am a drug addict who likes to have sex should i dump my drunk 10 year old girlfriend
ANSWER: Dump her and immediately change your life, or you’ll have no life.
Wizard
August 2, 2005
Question: i am going out with a girl who is a control freak and she is scaring me but i like her after she controls what should i do
ANSWER: If you like what she does, then enjoy it, and don’t dump her.
Wizard
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