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August 31, 2006
Question: my girl friend lives about an hour away and i rarely get to see her and when i do its very awkward. the only way i can talk to her is IM. plus sometimes she can act immature. im also going into high school, she’s not - so there’s going to be lots of girls there.
please tell me if i should dump her or not.
ANSWER: Yes. You will want to date high school girls.
Wizard
August 30, 2006
Question: This woman i have been dating for four years tells me that she can't have sex with me because of religion. She did have sex with me a couple times. She goes out with me almost anytime I want but she does not pay for anything. She never invites me to her house so the two of us can just have some good quality time. Never invites me out. I love her but I am at the end of my patience. I am actually thinking of just dropping her forever She is very difficult to talk to about our relationship. She gets very defensive. I don't even know if it worth to tell her good bye. I feel that i don't owe her anything after all the bad things she has done to me. I know that you are going to ask why am I writing to you then if I have decided to leave?
Well, to be honest I don't have an answer. Help me decide quick. Thank you
ANSWER: If this is how you feel, do a dump. Dating should be fun, and it does not sound like you are having any.
Wizard
August 25, 2006
Question: ok..i met this girl in the beginning of the school yr (gr.9) and by the end of the year i asked her out and she excitedly accepted. she's had one or two boyfriends before me, but she's my first girlfriend, so the problem is, that im pretty sure she really really likes me, and i really really like her too. we've been going out for about 2 months and we've only had one real kiss, and it was short and...sucked. so we go out a lot and she usually stares into my eyes and holds my hand. so i go in for kiss and then she turns her head away. on our first kiss, she went in for it. i've attempted to kiss her twice and she did the same thing. it really really is becoming annoying. should i dump her?
ANSWER: Patience and understanding is what you need to keep the relationship going. She is inexperienced and needs time to work these things out. She committed no wrong. She just hasn’t been good at kissing in your judgment.
In grade 9, many people get dumped for even smaller things than that, like her hair is too stringy or her feet are too big. You won’t be the first to dump a date because you don’t like how she kisses.
She might not be ready to kiss so much and you should not expect her to “graduate” to that just because you are ready.
If a good kisser is what you want, and you don't have the patience or interest in waiting for this girl, then you should dump her. If you really like her as a person, you should be patient.
Wizard
August 23, 2006
Question: Hey Wizard,
I have been dating a woman for close to 4 weeks now. I was attracted to her and unfortunately we had sex after the second date. This I believe was way too early, because the sex was just plain terrible. Now the issue is that I reset the relationship with her (i.e. no sex), but she is starting to get very committed to me, pulling her profile off of dating sites, phone calls every day. She likes me and I like her, but I fear a few too many dates and I am sitting in her parent’s living room. I feel the need to run off in the other direction. What should I do? Right now I am blowing her off and I know that's not right either......bleh!
ANSWER: If it was terrific, it would still have been way too early. You like her and you were attracted to her. Have you lost the attraction? If so, your instincts are right. If you’re not really enjoying yourself, end it. Blowing her off is a legitimate way to cool things off, but a conversation with her might be a good idea as well, just to tell her you want to cool things down. Honesty is the best policy. And just telling her is more direct and forthright.
If, however, you are still attracted to her, you can cool things down without blowing her off, and that is done with a gentle but serious conversation. If she is not up to it, then a dump is in order.
Wizard
August 23, 2006
Question: My gf is younger than me. im 24 and shes 20. she has severe ADHD and really cant concentrate on anything very well at all, especially school, and she has trouble learning. She makes really stupid choices all the time, and I have a feeling the reason she never really
hangs around her 'friends' is because she calls them repeatedly (if they dont pick up) and probably annoys them. When she’s around me, and im with friends, she kinda talks over everyone, and what she says has little to no relevance to what we are talking about in the first place. so pretty much she’s just really embarrassing to have around sometimes. her lack of intelligence shines through and through. however, she is a sweetheart most of the time, and is pretty good to me, will massage me whenever i want, etc., and she takes good care of herself. i have been a gigantic part of her life over the past year and now im beginning to think I’ve lead her too far into thinking we have a long future ahead. i feel if i break up with her she’ll get hurt.
ANSWER: If you are sure that she isn’t right for you, you should not lead her on any further. As difficult as it is now, it will get more difficult later if you keep leading her on.
Though you haven’t said this, for all who pay attention, note that hoping she will dump you and waiting for that to happen is also an especially bad idea.
She’s young and there are many guys who would enjoy her company and give her good attention and love her. If you are not the guy, you really should get it over with, and give her a chance to find someone who is right for her.
Wizard
August 23, 2006
Question: Hey. My gf lives in Arizona. I live In North Dakota though. That’s like 1000 miles. I love her so much! even if we haven't met in person. i plan on driving down there to meet her when i turn 16 or so. im 15. she is 13. should i dump her? and how can i make it not mean?
ANSWER: There is no need to dump her. You are not in a dating relationship. That’s too far too drive for a date.
If you stop communicating, don’t worry, she’s got all kinds of people to know and date where she is. She won’t think your mean.
Wizard
August 21, 2006
Question: I dont really know what this is, i just got it off google …
anyway i asked out this a girl a couple days ago. i had liked her for a while and she just moved back to the city i live in. apparently she had liked me for a long time too. But now she's spending almost less time with me than before i asked her out, and its getting akward almost when im around her. i can tell that she still likes me, but it might just be her friend that she's been hanging out with lately (who is my ex). she said that she didnt like to hang out with her anymore and hadnt forgiven her for ruining a good party (she told her parents because she wasnt invited, because she was a prep).
And she also has been hanging out with this other kid that i completely hate and almost stabbed before. now i just try to stay away from him unless im with my older friend who also hates him, but she thinks that he's nice. but i also have a feeling he's trying to get her, even though she really doesnt like him that way, but it really bugs me when she’s around him ...
ANSWER: Ask somebody else out. Then you won’t be bugged.
Wizard
August 7, 2006
Question: Last week when my girlfriend was going out of town and a week before that I asked her best friend to go out to lunch with me, in a platonic way of course. And I forgot about this lunch thing on the day of my girl friend's departure, and of course her best friend told her that she’s going out to lunch with me tomorrow. And my girlfriend is extremely pissed at me and her especially. Like my girlfriend won’t even talk to her best friend. Is it really my fault?? I didn’t know my girl friend would react like. And what should i do???
ANSWER: Your girlfriend’s best friend told her, on the day before, that you and she were having lunch together tomorrow. If there were anything wrong about that, she would not likely have told her. Your girlfriend should be clear enough on that.
Your girlfriend could be upset because she didn’t hear about the lunch “date” from you. Perhaps it caught her by surprise, and mixed with a little insecurity in her relationship with you, it could be fuel for fire.
She should be able to trust her best friend’s word and she should be able to believe in you. If she trusted her friend and were secure in her relationship with you, none of these negative consequences should happen. If you made a mistake, it may be that you were unaware of her insecurities and failed to prepare her by telling her about the lunch plans yourself, well in advance. A stable, secure, and happy relationship is inconsistent with her need that you handle her with kid gloves.
Remind her of your concern and care for her. Ask her to understand that there is nothing between you and her best friend. Take her to a romantic place, pay attention to her, give her reason to perceive your interest in her and your concern for her (don’t talk about yourself at all), and tell her that you are sorry that you did not tell her about the lunch first, and that you’ll be more sensitive to her needs in the future.
Wizard
August 6, 2006
Question: hey ok so i have this girlfriend and i kind of like her but am not sure and well this is my first teenage girlfriend and it’s so weird. i mean it’s so more complicated and it feels like i cant talk to any other girls, but i kind of like this other girl, but i dont know if i should dump the one i have now.
ANSWER: Just getting started? Hmm.
You’ll find it’s like being a bouncing ball. You date so many you can’t remember ‘em all, and then you’ll get bruised with some, and with some you’ll want to stick to them and stop bouncin’. But you can’t stop – like you’re in a perpetual motion machine.
Well, that’s how some people feel. Others get glued to one date. They get to know each other so well they could be siblings. They go on family outings (each with the other’s family); talk to each other morning, noon, and night; each knows the brand of underwear the other wears; and they kiss like mom and dad! Some of them walk everywhere arm-in-arm, like they really are glued together. They talk the same, think the same, wear the same clothes, eat the same food, and smell the same.
Whether you’re a bouncing ball or one of a pair of same-duds (or something in-between, like most), dating is simply this: Good times spent with someone you enjoy. If you stop enjoying the person you’re with, or think you will enjoy someone else more, you should go to the next and enjoy that person. Simple as that.
Wizard
August 4, 2006
Question: I started going out with my girl friend before school got out (3 months ago). at first I liked her because she is very nice and upbeat to be around. but now every time we do something together I find myself very bored. she always talks about the same things that have happened to other people. never about herself or even us. she is paranoid about germs to the point that I can't drink from the same water bottle. I don't know if this is a mistake or not but I havn't kissed her because of this. whenever I want to do something with her she loves it but she never wants to play sports like tennis or go for a swim at the beach, or leave her little town. I'm about to go to college this year and she will be in her last year in high school. I don't want to know if I should dump her because we are going our separate ways. I already know I will have to. I want to know is it reasonable to dumb a girl because of the reasons I listed above.
ANSWER: Boredom is huge. Discomfort about her sensitivity with germs is a gut-wrencher. Incompatibility in sports and entertainment is high on any list of reasons. Leaving for college works. In fact, many guys would “go separate” ways for just one of these reasons.
Everyone is different. The importance one places on reasons will be different from what others think. Nonetheless, it is safe to say that reasonable people would place enough importance on the reasons you have listed.
Good Luck.
Wizard
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