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March 31, 2009
Question: Yes, I know, although I am a girl. I don’t know whether my boyfriend loves me anymore, but I'm taking a good hint and saying yes (he still loves me ), because I asked one of my (boy) friends. He said that my boyfriend said that he didn’t love any one at first. I was quite upset, but then I asked my friend whether he doesn’t fancy any one but he loves me, and he said I was right. WHAT A RELIEF. If you have any other ideas without dumping him, feel free:-)
ANSWER: Words can be true, false, and half-true. When a guy says he loves you, if you want him to love you, you will accept it as true. If you don’t want him to love you, you won’t believe him. If you aren’t sure whether you want his love, you’ll figure he doesn’t really mean it, or maybe he does but doesn’t really know what love is.
Truth is generally found in action. If your boyfriend acts like he loves you, he usually does (unless, of course, he is playing games, for which he should roast in hell!).
Wiz
March 29, 2009
Question: So I’ve been dating this girl for a while and I thought I liked her, but lately I’ve been noticing that we’re complete opposites of one another. Recently another girl has come along that I’ve known for about a year now, and we've been getting very close these past few weeks. I’ve realized that this is the girl I want to pursue. What should I do!! Do I dump my current girlfriend with whom I have nothing in common???
ANSWER: Of course! Opposites do not always attract. Dump your current girlfriend kindly by telling her that she was fun and a great date, but tell her romance is not in your future.
Don’t trust the “gods” to set you up with the right girl. When a nice girl “comes along” in life, pursue.
Wiz
March 29, 2009
Question: The chick I'm dating won't let me kiss her or bring her to a private date, but we have been great friends 4 years and I don't want to ruin that. What should I do Wiz ????
P.S. She is fat, smart, and has a creepy laugh.
ANSWER: Stay good friends with her, mate! All that’s good has nothing to do with her weight. She’s entertaining and creepy all at once – that’s an exciting, fun friend. Dating is for romance. Fun is for fun.
Wiz
March 21, 2009
Question: My girlfriend and I have been going out for 6 months. In the first three months, everything was fine, but we had a one week breakup due to a misunderstanding. But to get me jealous, she got with this lad she knew I hated. We got back together, but now we keep arguing about this lad. She insists that she hates him but she keeps texting him and adding him to MSN Messenger. What should I do?
ANSWER: You cannot reasonably control her so much that you restrict her in who she talks to or communicates with. If she likes him enough to keep him in her circle of acquaintances, it is her business whom she likes or dislikes.
If she uses him to pester you or ruin your day, she’s playing a nasty game that you should put an end to by dumping her. If she doesn’t use the guy to hurt you, and you don’t have to bother with him, then you should not try to control that part of her social life that does not impact on your social life.
If she returns to dating him, you dump her because she is picking him over you. If she isn’t dating him, she does know of your dislike for him and she should not intentionally cause you and him to cross paths.
Stop the arguing by putting this advice into your position as follows: “You know how I feel about this lad. I don’t care what you do so long as you are not dating him and you don’t let him get into my life. If I don’t have to talk to him, see him, or hear him, I’m okay.”
Don’t require your date to hate someone because you hate someone. That doesn’t work.
Wiz
March 17, 2009
Question: Okay, well this girl already has a guy. She can date when she thinks I’m going to dump her, which I don’t want to do. He already said yes. She doesn’t look at me. She’s afraid to hug me. She is very insecure. HELP ME.
ANSWER: If she were the right girl for you, she would overcome her insecurities. She’s just not ready for you or she feels uneasy dating you. If you date her, you date all of her, including her insecurities. It’s too much to bother. Whatever the causes of her insecurities, you should not take on the difficult task of figuring them out and solving them. Find someone you can date freely and enjoy. You don’t need the hassles.
Wiz
March 17, 2009
Question: Before I dumped my girlfriend the other day we were in a “long distance relationship” with her being off at college about 3 hours away. She kept telling me all that she’s going to do in the near future like going to this show or that show, and “oh my friend and I” are going skydiving in a few weeks together. The day I dumped her she said her friend surprised her with tickets to a concert on her birthday. I knew she was spending time with her family on her birthday, so with this added in I knew I wouldn’t get to spend any time with her that day. Only about 3 hours after I dumped her I was told the two tickets she got were for not only her but for me as well. So I would have seen her on her birthday. Did I do the right thing by dumping her?
ANSWER: In a long distance relationship a lot happens that you can’t know much about. When you draw conclusions about things you can’t be too sure about, you can make mistakes. In your situation, you made a mistake, simple as that.
Three hours away is not so far to make the relationship impossible, but nonetheless the distance increases the possibility of mishaps because you can’t be together all the time. It is close enough, though, to communicate your apology. If your relationship was still strong when you made the mistake, she might take you back if you sincerely tell her how wrong you were and how sorry you feel for any problems you caused her because of your mistake. [This means: Do not say only that you are sorry. That sounds like self pity. Admit you were wrong first, then say you are sorry for the problems you caused her.]
If she won’t take you back, you’ll want to find someone closer, and you’ll be more careful about guessing the worst about circumstances you don’t know enough about. If she takes you back, take her to a special event or place she will enjoy greatly. Treat her special and tell her how happy you are to have her back in your life. She’ll get over the mistake quickly and value your care for her.
Wiz
March 16, 2009
Question: I've been dating this girl for 2 years now. She’s a nice looking girl and we got on really well at the start. The thing is she has certain qualities that really get under my skin. She has been brought up by a pretty wealthy family and doesn’t really understand the value of money and thus expects me to pay for pretty much everything, and in a manipulative sort of way she makes me feel bad if I make her pay.
Also we argue soooo much, and recently she’s been taking over all my time to see my friends and moans if I spend too much money with my mates!! Through all this I do have strong feelings for her when we get along, but she is such a closed person I can never talk about this sort of stuff because she simply tells me to stop going on.
We've split up before but we text each other and then end up back with each other. It’s pathetic, really. Being 19 I really want to have a good time and it seems like she’s a burden, but on the other hand I will miss her if I'm not with her. All my mates say leave her and time will heal missing her, but surely if this is the case then there must be something there for me to miss her in the first place.
It was really hard to put what’s going on in my head to paper. So if it’s a bit messy, please excuse it. Thanks!
ANSWER: Not messy at all. Well done. You’ll miss most of the girls you date for one reason or another. The fact that you will miss her means only that you liked her; it does not mean you fell in love with her. If you loved this girl, you would not be arguing and splitting up so much. You would not feel she was a burden and you would not feel manipulated. Of course you want to have a good time, and a girl that is right for you would give you a good time all the time. The wiz thinks your mates are right. She’ll do fine, as will you, after you dump her and move on.
Wiz
March 13, 2009
Question: She won’t hold my hand in public and we have never kissed. We’ve been dating for 4 months.
ANSWER: Well, depending on her age, she might be a little unsure of herself and needs a time. The younger she is, the more time you should allow. If she is older, she might be unsure about you but likes you enough to allow you to hang around. In that case she’ll get the message to you soon enough to bug off – unless, of course, she has a sudden change of heart and wants you.
The answer to your problem is to decide whether you like her so much that you are willing to let her adjust in time and be patient, or you want a more active date. If you want a more active date, tell her you are ready to start dating someone else and thanks for all the fun and good conversation.
Wiz
March 12, 2009
Question: Hey, Wiz, I’ve been with this girl for about 10 months, but she dumped me before, and then I found out she liked my best friend! ARRR! And then I couldn’t trust her after that and it took me like 3 months to trust her again. And then her looks got to me and then I loved her again and I wasn’t sure what to do. So I said, YES! I don’t know why though because it caused me a lot of trouble! This is the 3rd time we have been out in 1 year. So all I want to know is, "Do I dump her? Because she is all over this other guy! But I still love her and I don’t want to get hurt even more if I don’t dump her. Thank you.
ANSWER: Ah, man, the tug and pull of love in a competitive world. She’s probably a hot ticket and you keep enjoying the ride until she warms up with some other guy.
You can’t blame the other guys, even your best friend, because they see the same qualities you see and like. The problem is with her. She likes guys and doesn’t commit – at least, not fully.
So your decision depends on how easily you can take the hurt when she goes nutty over some other guy. If you do still love her and want to stay in love, you will have to learn to accept her indiscretions. That is an ego buster. How many times can you allow yourself to suffer the humiliation? Furthermore, one day she will decide not to come back to you. That leaves you wide open to a hurtful dump. If you love her so much you don’t care how hurt you feel, don’t dump her. If you don’t love her quite that much, then dump her before she dumps you.
Wiz
March 5, 2009
Question: Hi. I have a girl friend. I want to dump her. What should I do? She always tries to commit suicide whenever I tell her I want to dump her. I am in the hot water due to that. Help me out, please.
ANSWER: If she attempts suicide, for any reason, she is in deep trouble and needs help. The kind of help she needs cannot come from you. She needs well qualified professionals who know the kinds of help and treatment necessary to bring her to a happier and more productive state of mind.
Her troubles should not be your burden. Your caring heart wants to help, but tying yourself up into a relationship with someone so delicate is not a way to help her. If anything, it complicates her situation more.
Now that you have been dating her, help by getting her connected with professionals. Then, when your relationship grows weak, she will be strong enough with their support to move on with her life, and without you.
Wiz
March 4, 2009
Question: I've been dating this girl for about 1 month now but I kind of met someone new. The new girl, Jane, I met her on this site called teenspot.com and we've been talking everyday. I flirt, she flirts, and so on. I have less feelings for my current girlfriend (lives really close) than I have for the new woman (lives 5 or 6 states away). I’m kind of concerned about the long distance of the new eye candy and confused about what I should do about, well, dumping or not dumping.
ANSWER: You can enjoy flirting, even at great distances, but dating someone at such distances is almost impossible, unless you can afford a jet in the backyard.
If your current girlfriend is disappointing, you probably should find someone else more interesting to you, but replacing her with distant eye candy is a recipe for punishment.
Wiz
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