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October 29, 2006
Question: hey, my girlfriend and i have been together for 8 months. she's cheated on me once, and now we've got a lot of tension between us. i love her to bits but the thing is i'm starting to feel as if she's really selfish. she'll complain that i don’t give her enough attention or care and I’ll respond with, I’ll try harder to. but when i bring up that she doesn’t really care for me she'll get all pissed and that. a day ago she asked for us to take a 3 week break, a break from the "tension" between us, so she can study for her exams in the next 2 weeks. in a world where breaks normally imply i want a break up, I’m startin’ to feel really confused. i don’t know if i should hold on or let go. I’m scared she might really want a break up. i don’t know what to think. plz give me some direction
ANSWER: A common method used to end a relationship is the request for a break. After the break, when the one who did not ask for it starts to call again, he or she gets rebuffed or ignored.
You need to respect the request for a break. If you don’t, that will surely end the relationship. If at the end of three weeks she does not return your calls, or tells you it is over, then surely it is over.
She cheated on you. You have tensions between you. She wanted a break. Three signs of doom.
The direction to you from the wizard is this: If you want to keep the relationship going, your only hope is to win her back at the end of three weeks. Sit tight. Give her the quiet of three weeks. Follow up at the end of three weeks with a half dozen roses and a card expressing your care and concern for her using your own words. If that doesn’t work, accept it, and move on.
Wizard
October 27, 2006
Question: Me and my girlfriend have been dating for about 2 months. I really like her but we go to different schools. I see her only on the weekends. I really like to make out and stuff.but she doesn’t. She thinks im going to rape her!!! She flirts with other guys right in front of me should i dump her???
ANSWER: She’s not ready for making out with you. You should dump her if she hasn’t already dumped you.
Don’t press her on the fear of rape. If she really fears that you would do that, you are surely not the right guy for her. If she is exaggerating her fear, she’s sending you a clear message. Either way, you should end the relationship.
Wizard
October 27, 2006
Question: my girlfriend is always talking to other guys. she doesn't like making out, but i do and i don’t feel for her what i felt before.
ANSWER: A dump is a no-brainer.
Wizard
October 26, 2006
Question: I’ve been seeing my girlfriend for just over a year now and recently I’ve been feeling like it was a burden having to see her, like i can’t be bothered, but when I do see her i have fun. She tells me that she misses me all the time and texts me constantly which I can’t be bothered with but she expects me to reply, and recently she’s been getting jealous of a friend, who’s a girl and thinks I have feelings for her. She picks up on everything and gets upset a lot! I do have fun with her but I don’t know what to do. It’s just a lot of things that are bugging me. She tells me that she loves me, and i tell her i do too, but I don’t know whether I really mean it. She’s my first real relationship and I don’t want to hurt her, but I can’t compare it too anything. Should I dump her or leave it longer and see how things happen?
ANSWER: If you don’t know whether you mean it, you don’t mean it.
In a first relationship, you’ve done well to have it last a year. Unfortunately, with no ability to make judgments based on the experience of previous relationships, it is difficult for you to make a decision. Even so, truly it can be said that if you don’t know whether you mean it when you say you love her, you don’t. True love will fill you with feeling that is not mistaken for something else. Having fun is not alone enough to demonstrate love.
Your doubt, along with the other problems you mention, are clear signs that this relationship is not the one.
She has caught the message already. She picks up on everything, gets upset, and is jealous because she has her own doubts about how you feel about her. She might feel hurt (most people do) but she will not be totally surprised.
Wizard
October 24, 2006
Question: ive been with my gf for 2 months now but we have a lot of stuff that keeps bothering us, e.g.: where we live, family, and arguments. but there’s another girl that has recently come into my life who likes me and im becoming more attracted to her by the day. i want to dump my gf without having a guilty conscience, but how????????
ANSWER: By understanding that in the dating world every dating relationship ends in a dump, unless she's the one you’ll marry.
This girlfriend is not the one you’ll marry.
Toughen up. You can do it.
Wizard
October 23, 2006
Question: I have this girlfriend, she is 21 years old, same as me. Now we have been together for a year now, but my problem is, she will start a fight about every little thing. E.g., she went out with her girlfriends on Friday, and then Saturday morning she asked if I wanted to go somewhere. I then thought (in all consideration to her) that she might still be tired and I said its ok, but if she is tired then we can stay . . . . And BAM!! Bomb explodes and she says that I make up her mind for her!
So we had a chat about the whole situation and she said that she won’t get upset so easily anymore. A week later on she tells me that her ex phoned her when I was at work and told her that he wanted her back. In this year we got engaged, so she told him that she was engaged, and I’m thankful that she is so open to me and telling me. Now, like any guy that loves his girl I got mad at this oak, and asked her for his number, and once again, she got mad and said that I will not phone him. Why is she protecting him? I have no idea.
ANSWER: Your girl surely slipped over the brim on Saturday morning. Hopefully she’s collected herself and is re-wired for more inspiring discourse on future Saturday a.m.’s. In the wizard’s global view of things, she was well within the rational sphere of operation when she told you not to call her ex. She was right in perceiving no benefit from such a call. Now, should you have been upset? Yes. But she put the cork in your bottle at the right time.
Wizard
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